Doru is me, also Doug and the name comes from a time when I first started recording my own songs. I wanted a character to perform them as rather than plain old Doug. I’ve always enjoyed the presentation and theatrical side of music and live performance in particular and I liked the idea of creating a character that I could build a look and a theme around.
It was also about having a performance persona, something that I had heard other artists talking about, the idea of stepping into a separate version of yourself whose only task and only concern is the songs and so can focus upon a performance without being distracted by everyday issues and doesn’t feel self-conscious about what people are thinking.
Doru is conceptually a shadow, and I liked to take photos of him silhouetted against vibrant or incongruous backgrounds. I think of him less as a physical entity and more of an empty space. A hole where a person could or should have been, like someone cut out of a picture. There but not quite there, on the edge but never quite involved, overlooked and unnoticed as the world passes by around him. I recognise that as something I’ve felt many times throughout my life, I guess we all feel that way sometimes. Doru is the personification of never quite belonging, never feeling at home and being sure of your place in the world. He appears dark and sinister but is actually kind and benevolent, as hopefully conveyed by the lyrics of the songs. He cares about the world, regardless of whether it cares back.
A side benefit of Doru’s mysterious hooded appearance is that it meant I wouldn’t have to have photos of myself for promotional purposes. I’m generally not a fan of pictures of myself, I’m no movie star, and the idea of posing or trying to look appealing in a photo is ridiculous to me. I don’t mind having my picture taken now, it is what it is and I’m comfortable with who I am and how I look these days. Nonetheless the thought of trying to impose my appearance on somebody in an impressive or positive promotional way feels laughably absurd.
All of this is basically irrelevant anyway as I’m really never going to become a huge star with my music! But it’s the kind of thing you think about nervously at those early stages of releasing something you created into the world for the first time, regardless of how small the audience.
Despite what the above might suggest Doru is a positive character in my mind. One of my favourite aspects of Doru is how the name came about. I was on holiday with a group of friends in Romania and one day we came across a large tourist market selling a cornucopia of random souvenirs of all kinds. Someone had the bright idea of doing a ‘Secret Santa’ activity where we all bought a gift for somebody else on the trip without their knowing from whom it had originated. I had recently taken to keeping on festival and other wristbands that I had acquired and had a small collection of them (now considerably bigger) and when I received my mystery gift it turned out to be a leather wristband with ‘DORU’ engraved into it and came with a note saying it was closest thing they could find to ‘Doug’. I mean three out of four letters in the right order is pretty good going to be fair!
I had no idea who it was from and I’m sure the person who bought it for me had no idea how much I loved it. It seemed so thoughtful, and was so incredibly well-found and judged and I knew of all the thousands upon thousands of items in that giant market there was no single item that would have been a better choice for me. I’m sure the person who got it would say it was just a lucky find, but I don’t care, it was one of the best gifts I’ve ever received and so when I needed a name for a stage persona it seemed the perfect opportunity to meet them the rest of the way and become Doru and make the inscription 100% accurate.
The story gets better though because I have since found out who it was that gave it to me. We were friends in a casual way on the trip but it was only really a year after we got back that I started to talk to them a lot more and got to know them well. Before long as I really started to discover the person that they were they became one of my favourite people in the world and it was only after this that I discovered that they had been responsible for the Doru name all along. It makes perfect sense to me now, as I don’t think it could have been anyone else. Whenever I try to thank Jenni for all the great things her friendship does for me she gets confused and says she hasn’t done anything at all. And that sums her up really. Because it’s all subconscious, some people don’t need to actively try to help you, they just make your life better by being who they are.
I’d love both Doug and Doru to be that person, maybe we can be if we can both be half as good as the one who gave us our new name.